Diari Fitness 2

Benda paling susah pasal berat badan ialah pasal makan. I just simply love to eat dan makan berlebihan. Over the years lemak pun bertambah, tak kisah. Tapi kenapa baru-baru ini sibuk-sibuk nak kurus, memang dulu pun sibuk, tapi kali ni bertambah serius. Mungkin makin tua, kita makin takut, takut mati, takut itu dan ini. Dan perkara yang paling menakutkan saya ialah hilang akal. What make people hilang akal, tak taulah…

To me kalu hilang kerja, tak ada duit, boleh hilang akal. True la ni memang dari segi kerja I’m on the right track. Walau but no matter how friends tried to yakinkan saya I still have fear and doubt. I guess pengalaman kisah berebut mikrofon itu memang mengilukan. I fear I pegi interview, and I fail. Malu oohhh….semua orang (semua orang??? Apa ko ingat ko Siti Nurhaliza ka?? Paranoidla tu) tau saya cuti panjang, blajar, tapi hampeh…Oklah lets not talk about fear of losing the job so much or not getting the job which is compensate with my newly acquired qualification.

Let’s talk about what I eat today, my resolution to eat “clean food”.  I took oat & almond for breakfast. Today I don’t go to work as I have to take my car to the workshop. Something just don’t feel right, since cuti banyak, kerja pun masih tak banyak, I took  annual leave. The appointment was on 10 o’clock, all went well till almost 12 and I rush to see my cousin for some delicate personal matters, too personal, and too pain full to jot it down here.  And on my way back to town, my stomach start singing.

I give in to the temptation of eating Mc Donald bugger. Pheww…. I reach home almost 3pm. I feel so sleepy, dunno why, wake up at 4.00 and rush to the pool for my 1.5 KM routine. I only burn around 350-400kalorie. But I took how many already? Hah macam manalah nak kurus, kan.

I think of giving up aje…feel like crying. This whole shading pounds and kilos are ridiculous. I won’t get fired if I am fat, won’t I? You’ll never know. I know my boss’s joking, but why am I taking it so seriously? Aish…jangan cepat give-up. Mesti kuat semangat mesti boleh. Saya teringat sesuatu yang saya baca di NST semalam, “loosing weight is actually mental game” sikit lebih kuranglah gitu. It’s in your mind. Kalu saya boleh dapat straight A for Financial Accounting, kenapa susah sangat nak kawal selera makan??????... hemmm… Mc Donald oh Mc Donald.

Ok la pen-off dulu. Dah malam sangat ni, esok mau bagun awal.